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Americans who lost a job in the last 18 months are able to stay on or join their former employer’s health care plan for free through Sept. 30. That provision of the American Rescue Plan Act went into effect April 1.

More than 2 million people could benefit, according to the Congressional Budget Office.

The way it works is through the federally administered program known as COBRA. If you work at a company with more than 20 employees and lose your job, you can remain on your employer-sponsored health insurance plan for 18 months through COBRA.

But under normal circumstances, COBRA can be significantly more expensive than employer-sponsored insurance because instead of your employer covering some of the premium, you pick up the tab.

COBRA costs include the premium of your plan plus a 2% administrative charge, meaning that this year you could have been looking at monthly outlays of $635 if you’re single or $1,800 for a family, according to Thomas Rice, professor of health policy and management at the UCLA Fielding School of Public Health.

But COBRA is now free through the end of September. Here’s what you need to know.

Who qualifies?

Qualifying criteria for COBRA include any of the following: “voluntary or involuntary job loss, reduction in the hours worked, transition between jobs, death, divorce and other life events,” according to the U.S. Department of Labor.

Under the relief bill, anyone is eligible who has involuntarily lost their job or health insurance or had their hours reduced within the last 18 months. A reduction in hours covers the business’s change in hours of operations, a shift from full-time to part-time status, if you take a temporary leave of absence or if you participated in a lawful labor strike.

Benefits are available to all those normally insurable under COBRA, meaning you and the family members who were already on your health plan.

Who doesn’t qualify?

Anyone who voluntarily left their job or chose to reduce their work hours. Also, if you were fired for gross misconduct, you and your dependents are not eligible for COBRA.

If you already have health insurance, whether through the government or your employer, you are not eligible to enroll in subsidized COBRA.

Also, beneficiaries who recently turned 26 (the cutoff age for dependents to stay on their parents’ health insurance) and former spouses who lost their coverage because of a divorce will be unable to receive free COBRA benefits, but can expect lower costs “on Marketplace health insurance coverage thanks to provisions in the American Rescue Plan Act of 2021,” according to the Labor Department.

How to enroll in COBRA

In general, employers have 60 days to notify you of your COBRA eligibility.

If you are newly eligible under the relief bill, your employer is required to notify you by May 31, said Grant Vaught, a Labor Department spokesperson. If your employer or the employment-based group health plan you were a part of do not notify you, the Labor Department recommends contacting your employer to request information on your eligibility.

If your employer waits until the May 31 deadline to notify you, you could miss out on two months of free coverage. So Rice said you should contact your former employer as soon as possible to avoid losing out on benefits. If you’re not in a rush, you have until July 30 to enroll.

For those already enrolled in a COBRA plan, subsidized premiums were set to begin April 1 and end Sept. 30. The provision does not extend your policy’s life beyond the normal 18 months, though.

What else should you know?

Although the subsidy covers the health plan’s premium, you will still be responsible for copays and deductibles.

If you sign up for subsidized COBRA, you can keep it past Sept. 30, but you will have to pay the premiums after that date. After the subsidization period ends, you might become eligible for Medicaid or coverage through the Health Insurance Marketplace, according to the Department of Labor.

Coverage under subsidized COBRA is not retroactive. If you were insured through COBRA before April 1, medical and premium costs incurred before then are not refundable, according to the Labor Department.

If at any point between April 1 and Sept. 30 you pay in full for COBRA but were eligible for free coverage, you might qualify for a refund or credit. Contact the plan administrator or the employer sponsoring the plan.

Other options

If you don’t qualify for or can’t afford COBRA, you might have other options.

• Plans on the Affordable Care Act marketplace may be less expensive than COBRA. ; 1-800-318- 2596.
• Insurance benefits just for children might be available. ; 1-877-543-7669.

Q: My son married nine years ago. He and his wife bought a house one block from her parent’s home. They are a two-hour drive from us.

They have spent every Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Fourth of July, etc., with her family, never ours. My husband’s family has a reunion every August. I’ve invited them every year, months in advance. My son said that was too far in advance to commit. They have never attended. My mother’s 90th birthday was quickly planned because I had been in the hospital. He told me they could not come because I did not give him enough notice. He did not visit me in the hospital, either.

We have tried to help whenever possible. We gave them money toward their first house. We paid for a family trip to Disney.

He will ask us to visit them, but my parents are in their 90s and my husband is disabled, which makes visiting a daunting task for me. They do come a day or so after Christmas to visit and pick up their gifts. My son will call me once a week, so we are at least communicating.

I have two young granddaughters and am afraid if I say something wrong, we will be cut out of their lives. My son gets defensive if I ask why they won’t spend a holiday with us.

I am so hurt and depressed by how we are being treated. Am I being overly sensitive? What should I do?

—Anonymous

A: Answer to come—keep reading.

Q: I have a couple of friends who take forever to respond to text messages and emails. It’s almost as if they’re doing it to act “big-time,” like they are too busy. This is not the case. They are retired. Both of them look at their phones constantly when I am around them, never letting them out of their sight.

Isn’t eight hours to respond a little long if it happens regularly?

I have various reasons to maintain these friendships, so I’m not sure how to minimize or eliminate my frustration with this. Any suggestions?

—Patiently Waiting Here in TX

A: These are completely different situations with very different stakes, generating hurt feelings of understandably different intensities—but for advice purposes, they are the same.

People can torment us, and sometimes they do, yes. But it is a special kind of torment that we inflict on ourselves when we keep wanting from people what we clearly aren’t going to get.

To Patiently Waiting: You will get a response from these friends when they darn well feel like it and not a moment sooner. They don’t prioritize responding to you. Reset your expectations accordingly.

To Anonymous: You will, I am so sorry, not spend holidays with your son’s family unless you travel to him. For your own emotional health, please reset your expectations accordingly.

To proportionate degrees, I feel for you both. It is annoying/devastating when people you have built into your sense of well-being choose to deny you the simple satisfaction of completing that emotional transaction. It’s like subscribing to a weekly rejection.

And if there were a simple way to push you higher on others’ priority lists, then I’d gladly share it. But you’ve clearly been persistent in your bids for attention. Your targets remain unmoved.

Now, your best remaining option is to uncheck the “auto-renew” box on these painful subscriptions. Accept the recurring answer as final and stop pushing for better ones.

Productive steps toward this: 1. Adjust your plans to reflect reality. Expect delayed replies, holidays without your son, occasional daunting travel. 2. Invest in that reality. Given your materials at hand, what’s the most beautiful life you can build? Retraining our focus away from frustrating places is a skill every one of us could stand to acquire or hone. So is learning to recognize that what we get from people, over time, represents pretty accurately what they’re willing to give.

So is enjoying what they give you, period. Stare down disappointment with gratitude.

I add the following with trepidation, because it can’t be why you adopt this attitude, and in fact that will sabotage you if it is: Acceptance—be it of mildly annoying unanswered texts or of heartbreaking distance—can feel like the breaking point of a relationship. Often, though, it’s the beginning of a better one.

Why? Because it is just not human nature to rush to see people who only complain or make sad eyes at us for not responding enough or visiting enough or caring enough or giving enough. Quite the contrary; we tend to pull away harder.

So if you miss your son, then lay off wanting more of him. If you value these friends, then lay off wanting more of them. Invest fully in the present. Whether this creates new connections or improves your problematic old ones, it’s a win either way.

Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at carolyn.hax or chat with her online at 11 a.m. each Friday at .

Studies show that having a pet can bring both emotional and health benefits to the elderly. But for many seniors, the fear of not being able to provide the proper care, training and exercise might keep them from experiencing the joy of dog ownership.

To help, the American Kennel Club offers these tips for seniors to match the right breed with their lifestyle.

Where you live

• Small apartments are suitable for toy breeds or small members of the hound and non-sporting groups. Rural settings with lots of space are ideal for large breeds because they need room to exercise.
• If you want your dog to cuddle, sit on the couch or sleep on the bed with you, smaller breeds are most suitable. Toy breeds love to be on their owner’s lap and to curl up under the covers at bedtime.

Exercise

• Active seniors will enjoy a breed from the working, hound and sporting groups. Herding breeds love the outdoors. If you’re looking for a specific activity to do with your dog, it’s important to take that into consideration when deciding on a breed.
• Less active seniors will enjoy a breed from the toy or non-sporting group. These breeds need minimal exercise and are ideal for short walks or a small fenced-in yard.

Who you live with

• You should consider how many people live in your home and if you have grandchildren or other frequent visitors. If you have several people living in your home or regular visitors, then you should get a breed that is sociable.
• Many herding breeds make great family dogs and love meeting new people. Most toy and non-sporting breeds were bred for companionship and crave attention. This isn’t to say that other breeds wouldn’t make great family companions. With proper socialization and training, any dog can be an ideal family dog.

Amount of travel

• If you travel often or prefer to take your dog on errands with you, then a small breed is for you. Toy breeds are small enough to fit in travel carriers, so they are more apt to receive a friendly response from managers and employees at stores, hotels and other travel destinations.
• Small dogs can accompany travelers on airplanes as carry-on baggage, while large dogs must stay in the cargo hold, which is not temperature-controlled.

How to obtain a dog

• Once you have narrowed your selection to a few breeds, the AKC suggests meeting a few dogs in person. Attend a dog show or consult dog-owning friends and neighbors to get a clear picture of what responsible dog ownership requires and to find out more about different breeds.

AKC’s Marketplace can help you find responsible breeders in your area who are members of AKC clubs as well as affiliated breed rescue groups that have dogs for adoption in your area.