“Your grief had a beginning, and your grief will have an end.”
That’s what Barb Kleven, a leader in the grief support group known as GriefShare at Beloit Life Center, said.
She might have some insight. She has lost two husbands, a granddaughter’s boyfriend, two brothers and a lifelong friend to a variety of causes including COVID-19.
Although there is no set timeline for working through grief, it often takes people a year or two to heal from a loss, or perhaps a lifetime in some tragedies. However, healing can come a little faster when people can bear their burdens with others.
“I’ve had a lot of loss. Because I have, I’m able to share a lot about how God healed my heart and how I had to work through things. Sometimes in your grief you get stuck, and that’s OK, because you realize what is happening and you keep going,” Kleven said.
Kleven defines an end to grief as evidenced by one who is able to function and move on with life after having enough time to sort through their questions.
Even though Kleven expected her husband’s passing because he had been ill for some time, it’s always a shock to lose a loved one.
“Even though you know it’s coming, it’s so hard. Then you have to figure out what life looks like alone. You have to create a new normal, and that does not happen in a 24-hour period. Everybody has to work through it in their own time,” she said. “Everyone’s experience is unique and different.”
Due to the challenges of loss, she and others at Beloit Life Center, 2170 Murphy Woods Road, are hosting a 13-week grief support group. The Christian-based and nondenominational group meets Saturdays from 10:30 a.m. to noon. It costs $20 for a workbook for the class. GriefShare pre-registration is required by calling 608-365-9131, ext. 12. The classes began Jan. 15 and will end April 9, but people can join anytime during that time period.
“This program is offered to help heal our community,” Kleven said.
Kleven said there haven’t been many families not affected by death during the COVID-19 pandemic, in addition to losing loved ones to natural and other causes.
This will mark the second year of the group, which drew about eight people last year. Participants meet in person, and the program draws on the experience of 15,000 churches worldwide that equip GriefShare for effective grief support.
“Everyone gets a chance to share and talk,” Kleven said. “You start off and people might be a little bashful. It takes a few weeks for people to get comfortable and open up. Sometimes they might only be able to cry.”
Kleven has seen people put off the grieving process for years and then make great strides after they begin to confront it and talk about it.
Each week begins with a video with a different topic. Last week for example, was the “why” question, or why a loved one died or didn’t heal and someone else did.
After the video is over, the floor is opened up for discussion and questions. During the week, participants can follow up with workbook assignments.
“It’s a great blessing if you do the homework in the workbook,” Kleven said.
She hopes the weekly gatherings become an oasis on the long journey through grief by offering help and encouragement after the death of a spouse, child, family member or friend.
